The Undomestic goddess

You will probably think I am conkers, or just nuts but....

Blue cake??????? what was I thinking? Just look at the cream filling folks, eeeewww!!!

I'm sure Sophie Kinsella won't be angry at  my stealing her book title for this blog, as I am inadvertently promoting her book for free. (Sophie if you are reading this, just think of the free publicity and how much dosh I am saving you!)

When I read said book, I didn't believe anyone could be as dopey as the heroine. Or do any of the antics she got up to. It didn't occur to me that as I popped my" ready made meal for one" into the microwave, that I could be that girl.

Just in case this blog is making you feel uncomfortable and you are thinking I am some kinda all- singing -all -dancing- whoopei- doo- blog- writing- super- mommy- wonder- woman, let me tell you a few reassuring secrets.

Firstly I am married to a wonderfully understanding , kind, helpful man, who has more than his fair share of patience. He is uncomplainingly washing up now down stairs. Without his assistance, I would never accomplish anything, I would be an exhausted, wiped out, nervous, sleep deprived  wreck. Ok some days I am that anyway.....

Secondly when I first moved to Berkshire, and to my first home, on my own, I decided to emulate some of my real life idols. One is the lovely Tessa, who is a cake baking yummy mummy supreme. It was bake a cake for Macmillan coffee morning day. So I figured that if she can bake fab cakes with a heap of kids and a full time job it couldn't be that hard ? right? 

Wrong!! 

I made a batch of fairy cakes and a victoria sponge. Well I planned to. The fairies did ok but the sponge was slop underneath a burned to crisp 2 inch layer of carbon. What was wrong?was the oven too hot? I made a second batch, same result, and a third, ditto. By the time I'd been to Waitrose to buy a batch of readymade cheats Macmillan owed me!

A week or two later I put the grill on to heat a pizza. It didn't look right, the grill wasn't working. The penny dropped. . . . s.l.o.w.l.y... I'd baked the cakes under the grill with the door shut, and tried to warm my pizza in the oven with the door down. A simple mistake over two identical knobs. I'm not totally useless am I? 

That was 3 years ago. Now as a proud mummy and facing a first birthday, I decided to bake fairy cakes. I'm good at those! You see even under the grill they came out ok, I only rejected the Macmillan ones because my lavender icing came out gothic purple, and not even I was brave enough to take those to work!!! 

So I made fairy cakes. Even the Swans wouldn't eat them, they took one sniff and haughtily raised their beaks in the air and "swanned off". Why was I feeding my son's birthday cakes to the swans? I forgot to put sugar in the fairy cakes. (Noooooooo!)

As for his birthday cake, that is it at the top of the blog. That hideous blue monstrosity. My darling husband took a bite and declared that, although it tasted vaguely edible, I couldn't possibly offer it to anyone else...... In fact he forbade me to tell anyone about it , but you know me, if I can get a laugh.....Anyway the mummies who came to the party will agree....Thank Heaven for Marks and Spencer.

But despite all my culinary mishaps I am improving. Baby is allergic to all kinds so I am on a strict regime to Learn To Cook, to avoid him eating something he shouldn't. My addiction to skippy peanut butter was kicked through cold turkey, and hubby has given up his cashew fettish. We are still both nuts though......or was that conkers?