HOW!? an inspiring story for all "not yet yummy " mummies

The most unusual folk pass through newbury at the weekend. 

"HOW!!!!!"

Anyway these Injuns and their amazing outfits, got me onto my second favourite topic after the Boating Pond....

Clothes, fancy dress, dressing up, garments, fashion, whatever you want to call it. I love it.

Tonight we are celebrating! In my loft is  the Pre- Baby suitcase. It also contains Pre-Husband stuff too.  As a single gal, I was addicted to the sparkling, the embroidered, the tailored, the unusual..... clothes.

After a bout of overweight misery in my mid 30's I had a crisis. Holmes Place and The GI diet, a personal trainer in the form of a best mate, combined to get me down to a svelte and  (feeling ) gorgeous size 10. I loved how I looked, I was 38, felt amazing and that justified the purchases!!

Then in 2007 I fell pregnant, at my geriatric stage of life that is no easy game to play. It took it's toll. The combination of stress at work, fear for my baby, fear for my health  all lead to a bit of "eating for two" . One thing lead to another, especially in the confectionary aisle, and I wound up at 15 stone!!!

So although I have done pretty well to get from 15 stone to just under 11 stone in a year, I have felt despair. My body has changed shape beyond all recognition. 

 So the post natal exercise was difficult, because of complications. Still is. Like an airbag, I collapse when I sit down.

But dear readers,  anyone reading this  and thinking " Yes me too!I feel crap about my body image, I want to cry when I try on my PB clothes, I want to scream when I see myself reflected in mirrors, I will never wear a bikini again!!!" There  is hope........

Today I got into my pre pregnancy  Gap jeans from 2007. If I can - anyone can!

There is still a long way to go to get into the singleton wardrobe though. ......

Although none of it can be worn, for fear of  baby puke, baby food hazard, it is my goal to glide into it. And not to look pregnant in it! 

Size 14 lies behind , size 12  has appeared  on the horizon ahead..... Here I come...... Come with me!

Return of the turtles!

Last summer a French friend CdG gave baby the turtle, they fell instantly in love, and crying would ensue if squirtle the turtle was left at home. He became our constant companion-  until one tragic day when he disappeared..... the turtle that is..... duh duh duuuuuhhhhh... read on!

Just in case you thought I was taking myself too seriously.........

The turtle ditty.

"I'm a little turtle,

and my name is Squirtle,

I like to swim, in the sea,

just me and my Daddy

but we have to be careful,

cos some people like turtle,

in their SOUP!

soup, whoop di doup,

doup doup whoop di doup,

We thought we had lost squirtle, to the force of gravity during baby's fling it from the pushchair phase. He had not been seen for months, and months, last summer he was flavour of the month!!! We could not leave the house without him.

Now you know what a slummy mummy I am, we have just found him down the back of the sofa .......!

Mottisfont Abbey

Monet's gardener must have sojourned in Hampshire a while?

http://www.nationaltrust.org.uk/main/w-mottisfont/

Trout a leaping did we see 

whilst visiting Mottisfont Abbey. 

A tromp L'oeil room by whistler painted,

Baby puked on the carpet, Daddy almost fainted!

Magnolia trees in April do bloom,

The Rose Garden delightful is in June.

The kitchen fayre is rather delicious,

Local organic, no need to wash the dishes

when you've had your fill,

 just pay the bill.

Magnolias.

Mary Mary Quite Contrary

In the beautiful grounds of the Mary Hare School for the Deaf, sits Arlington Art Cenre.......

http://www.maryhare.org.uk/?id=arlington_arts_centre

Where magic happens.....

The Blunderbus theatre company performed The Rainbow Fish, with actors and fabulous puppets. The audience ranged from 1 year olds to around 7 year olds. Their whoops of delight and laughter, and the occasional tears, (It has some sad moments) were testament to the brilliance of the performance!

The story , if you don't know it, is lovely, about the joy of giving and the value of friendship, kindness and how simple actions can change peoples lives.

The set/scenery was gorgeous , true to the book, which has amazing illustrations.

It was very clever the way they meshed acting with puppetry, a successful "suspension of disbelief".

Sadly the event was not well publicised and the auditorium was sparsely populated.

The actors were super, so unpretentious and very child friendly. They even stayed to chat afterwards.

visit their site to see what they are all about!

http://www.blunderbus.org/

http://www.blunderbus.co.uk/blunderbus_theatre_company.html

Don't worry that you missed this performance, they are coming back in October to do a new show!!!

The stunning grounds of Mary Hare, and the rhododendron grove.

If you know anyone with a deaf child then Mary Hare   seems to be the place to go for information and assistance. The facilities are fantastic.

http://www.maryhare.org.uk/

Bucklebury Farm Park

Feeding the lambs

ycb 2009

Cock-a -doodle-do

ycb 2009

Thank you once again to A's Daddy for supplying the following photographs.... 

I am beginning to think he has been hiding his light under a bushel! These are brilliant!!

This fellow was  the star of The Sound of Music- we never found the lonely Goat-herd though.

The Monarch of the Glen

http://www.buckleburyfarmpark.co.uk

We had baby's first birthday here at the farm, and plan to visit again soon. It was such a lovely day out!  The lambs are there to be fed from April time, and often are so tiny. Apparently they are the ones that are rejected by their mother or orphaned. 

The Farm is friendly, clean and in the most beautiful location.

The highlight for our baby was the ride on the tractor to see the deer. I think he just liked being jiggled around!! 

The escaped kid (baby goat, not child/ kid) was hilarious, he followed everyone trotting behind or along side them!

They are all so cute! my favourite was the big old bore. I mean boar. (No darling not you, the piggy wig - see above)

What lovely fillies. 

That fringe is so this season!

I think I just might have to become vegetarian.

perfectly yar

Inspired by Cole Porter, and this wonderful photograph .

 

As ripples from a feather, outward fan,

Through time and space, eternally swirling ever on,

A thought, 

A word,

A wish

I send to you

My true love.

Yachtclub baby 27/05/09

A haiku

Swan's feather floating 

on the surface, wings soaring 

high,  beating the breeze.

YCB.27/05/09

Cole Porter fans will recognise the title and theme of today's blog from "High Society". This page is dedicated to my husband, and everyone who likes;

musicals,

water,

sailing,

sunshine,

parks & green spaces,

the wind in their hair.

'True Love' is the name of C.K. Dexter Haven's yacht, on which he and Tracy Lord honeymooned off the coast of Maine. They are fictional characters in the play The Philadelphia Story, on which the musical is based.

Dictionary definition of Yar.

means on the level...when a ship is said to be Yar, she's perfectly loaded and level from stem to stern and port to starboard.

Beautiful photographs courtesy of A's daddy. Thank you!!!

April Love

Two paths diverged in a bluebell wood....

1. The Road Not Taken

by Robert Frost (1874-1963)

TWO roads diverged in a yellow wood, And sorry I could not travel both And be one traveler, long I stood And looked down one as far as I could To where it bent in the undergrowth;         5   Then took the other, as just as fair, And having perhaps the better claim, Because it was grassy and wanted wear; Though as for that the passing there Had worn them really about the same,         10   And both that morning equally lay In leaves no step had trodden black. Oh, I kept the first for another day! Yet knowing how way leads on to way, I doubted if I should ever come back.         15   I shall be telling this with a sigh Somewhere ages and ages hence: Two roads diverged in a wood, and I— I took the one less traveled by, And that has made all the difference.

Quintessentially English April....

There is something quite magical, ancient and romantic about Bluebell woods.

Despite the thousands of other walkers on the pathways, (there was certainly no "Road less travelled by") there was still a charm to the woods, and an atmosphere of fairies and centaurs. A place where the universal life force and beauty fill you, where you feel a connection with a higher being. How wonderful it would be to walk here alone or with someone special and have the space to meditate, rather than crashing into fellow walkers and visitors?

Down Town

Swanning around

St Nicks

View through the bridge

 For those readers who have never been here, here's a few snaps of the sights. Essentially the canal runs through it, there's a market place in the middle of it. 

Why aren't I employed by somebody to promote it? 

Why am I writing about it? (Because it would take too much effort to bundle baby into the car and go take photos of somewhere else, perhaps???)

This is starting to be almost like a job. Except I don't get paid for it  and I am enjoying it. I figured out I should time myself and see how much time  a day I spend doing this. Surprisingly it is really only about one and a half hours. I suppose I should really mop the kitchen floor or something, but that is not good for the soul. This is.

I've even had to go out and buy a little notepad to put in my handbag along side the camera. I started composing "the story for my niece" whilst pushing my buggy to town today and just had to make some notes!! I finally feel alive again after a year of sleep deprivation and exhaustion. 

From Tracey Emin to Damien Hirst

Holy Cow!!!! 

Yes folks the invitation was to try milking the cow!!! Er, no thanks!

"I love Ewe!"

"If they think they can enter me in the Gold Cup they have another thing coming!"

Today, quite by accident, we chanced upon a mobile farm!!! In Newbury market place!!!

 Imagine our delight, lambs, ducks, hens,goat, pony and cow, a real cow, ( not the scary foot & mouth survivor at the top of the page!!!)

I can see that it might help kids to understand where milk comes from, but I had no desire to try it for myself!  I sh-udder at the thought. The whole affair was a mixture of farmers, a veterinarian  etc. The one who was with it enough to hand out leaflets was the mobile farmer. 

They apparently cater birthday parties , imagine that! The other mummies would hate you, setting such a precedent. I can imagine the conversations;

 "Im having a swimming party" 

"So what, I'm having clowns"

 "Well nahnahnanahna, I'm having a whole whopping farm!" 

Their website is www.kidsrome.co.uk if you fancy being that mummy. Myself ,I'm trying to get yoda to come and do story time at our next party- so top that! (I'm not really!)

It takes balls to be a full time Mummy

Credit crunch home economics, advice for canny Mummies.

An alternative use for a laundry basket. Fill with "ball pool balls" and you have an inexpensive , hugely fun toy. We spent hours throwing them out, putting them back in, and rolling them around. I'm sure Mrs Beaton would have approved.

For my niece

A story for my niece who is just 2, and a bundle of fun.

Grace was feeling grumpy. "What's wrong with Grace?" asked mummy, "I think she wants to go for a walk" suggested Grandpa. So off they set for a walk.

"What 's wrong with Grace?" asked Grandpa, "she usually likes walks," Gracey slumped into her push chair and didn't want to get out. Grandma sighed. "Maybe she is hungry?" So off they set for the cafe.

At the cafe, Gracey cried.
"What 's wrong with Grace?" asked Grandma. Grace did not reply , she went very quiet and became  even more miserable. "Oh dear, we had better go home, maybe she is missing Mummy?" Grandma decided.

When they got home, Gracey was very quiet, not at all her usual self.
"What's wrong with Gracey?" whispered Mummy, " I know, let's put the music on and see if she will dance?" But Grace did not want to dance today. She sat in the corner and sucked her thumb and cried.

When Daddy came home, he peeked into Graces nursery. Grace was tossing and turning in her sleep. "What's wrong with Grace?" Asked Daddy concerned. But Mummy, Grandma and Grandpa were all asleep on the sofa, in front of the TV! They were so exhausted from trying to cheer up Grace.

That night nobody slept well, Mummy, Daddy, Grandma and Grandpa all lay awake thinking the same thing."What is wrong with their lovely, little Grace? usually she is so happy, she loves the park and the cafe, and she loves to get out and walk. What could it be?"

The next morning when they got up they got a big surprise. Grace was happy and bouncy and full of life.
"What's wrong with everyone?" thought Grace. "Why are they so tired and mopey? What's for breakfast?"

When Mummy went to change Grace out of  her pyjamas and into her dress she had a big shock.
"Grandma! Grandpa! LOOK!"
They all rushed into Grace's room. "That's what's wrong with Gracey! " 

She was covered in spots! "Chicken pox!" They all said at once.

Not today thank you

I'm having a Tracey Emin day.

Unmade Bed,

Untidy House,

Unswept Kitchen floor,

Uncharacteristic of me,

Unironed Laundry,

Unwashed Dishes,

Unsure as to whether to go to play date or back to bed,

Unlikely to improve throughout the day ,

Uninspired by the weather,

Unimpressed that Daddy has left his drill and screw drivers on the floor,

Unusually laid back about it all,

Unfinished Blog posti............

Best thing since sliced bread

Crumbs!

I have done it!!! Finally I have made my own bread that is edible!!

The Good Housekeeping photo shoot shot.

And repeated my success with a fruit loaf! Being of the non scientific, arty farty genre, I was a little liberal and creative with the ingredients, this "good enough to join the WI" sample, contains cinnamon, nutmeg (a spice not a nut, before you gasp in horror) and mixed spices. The raisins are accompanied by maraschino cherries. They were in the cupboard, so why not?

At last my son can have guaranteed nut, egg, and dairy free bread!! 

My curiosity has been aroused. For what purpose other than adornment of a "snowball" in the 1960's (or is that just my imagination?? There is definitely something 60's or 70's associated with alcohol and maraschino cherries) and obviously cherry bakewells, does the maraschino cherry serve?

Mrs P of Newbury, I bet my bottom dollar you can furnish me with the answer!! I beg you to add it to the comments below to share with other inquisitive readers! If  you are feeling too shy then I look forward to hearing the answer next time we meet for coffee!

The Undomestic goddess

You will probably think I am conkers, or just nuts but....

Blue cake??????? what was I thinking? Just look at the cream filling folks, eeeewww!!!

I'm sure Sophie Kinsella won't be angry at  my stealing her book title for this blog, as I am inadvertently promoting her book for free. (Sophie if you are reading this, just think of the free publicity and how much dosh I am saving you!)

When I read said book, I didn't believe anyone could be as dopey as the heroine. Or do any of the antics she got up to. It didn't occur to me that as I popped my" ready made meal for one" into the microwave, that I could be that girl.

Just in case this blog is making you feel uncomfortable and you are thinking I am some kinda all- singing -all -dancing- whoopei- doo- blog- writing- super- mommy- wonder- woman, let me tell you a few reassuring secrets.

Firstly I am married to a wonderfully understanding , kind, helpful man, who has more than his fair share of patience. He is uncomplainingly washing up now down stairs. Without his assistance, I would never accomplish anything, I would be an exhausted, wiped out, nervous, sleep deprived  wreck. Ok some days I am that anyway.....

Secondly when I first moved to Berkshire, and to my first home, on my own, I decided to emulate some of my real life idols. One is the lovely Tessa, who is a cake baking yummy mummy supreme. It was bake a cake for Macmillan coffee morning day. So I figured that if she can bake fab cakes with a heap of kids and a full time job it couldn't be that hard ? right? 

Wrong!! 

I made a batch of fairy cakes and a victoria sponge. Well I planned to. The fairies did ok but the sponge was slop underneath a burned to crisp 2 inch layer of carbon. What was wrong?was the oven too hot? I made a second batch, same result, and a third, ditto. By the time I'd been to Waitrose to buy a batch of readymade cheats Macmillan owed me!

A week or two later I put the grill on to heat a pizza. It didn't look right, the grill wasn't working. The penny dropped. . . . s.l.o.w.l.y... I'd baked the cakes under the grill with the door shut, and tried to warm my pizza in the oven with the door down. A simple mistake over two identical knobs. I'm not totally useless am I? 

That was 3 years ago. Now as a proud mummy and facing a first birthday, I decided to bake fairy cakes. I'm good at those! You see even under the grill they came out ok, I only rejected the Macmillan ones because my lavender icing came out gothic purple, and not even I was brave enough to take those to work!!! 

So I made fairy cakes. Even the Swans wouldn't eat them, they took one sniff and haughtily raised their beaks in the air and "swanned off". Why was I feeding my son's birthday cakes to the swans? I forgot to put sugar in the fairy cakes. (Noooooooo!)

As for his birthday cake, that is it at the top of the blog. That hideous blue monstrosity. My darling husband took a bite and declared that, although it tasted vaguely edible, I couldn't possibly offer it to anyone else...... In fact he forbade me to tell anyone about it , but you know me, if I can get a laugh.....Anyway the mummies who came to the party will agree....Thank Heaven for Marks and Spencer.

But despite all my culinary mishaps I am improving. Baby is allergic to all kinds so I am on a strict regime to Learn To Cook, to avoid him eating something he shouldn't. My addiction to skippy peanut butter was kicked through cold turkey, and hubby has given up his cashew fettish. We are still both nuts though......or was that conkers?

Let's not kid ourselves.

MAMA MIA here I go again......

Get me outa here and over there!!

A plank I would happily walk

Sail away, forget Newbury Boating pond, lets take a picnic in that boat to that there island.

Previously I pondered the meaning of life and the universe, now my questions are these. (How life has changed!) If you have the answers please share! There is space below each post for your comments!!

1. How do you lie by a pool and relax while your baby crawls around on the rampage?

2. How do you pack for a baby and two adults with a combined weight allowance of 40kg?

3. How do you cater for an infant with food allergies , when he hasn't got a baggage allowance?

4. How do you keep your sanity on the beach if your little one is scattering the contents of a random stranger's handbag across the sand, testing the factor of suncream by glooping it into a fellow holiday maker's hair and checking if daddy's passport floats?

5. How do you make an appearance on the beach without being swaddled up like a mummy of the Egyptian variety, cos let's face it, quite a few of us will not be wearing Bikini's (ever again!)

6. How do you cope when you have the aforementioned toddler, and then Daddy flakes out and says"I'm on holiday I worked all year for this, its your job to look after the kids"?

7. How do you entertain the bambino, who needs 24/7 interaction and you had no baggage allowance for his toys?

8. How do you survive a flight longer than 2 hours with a screaming, squirming toddler on your knee? They don't say under 2's travel free for nothing. (They know you will do it once and never again!!)

9. How do you keep your dignity when wearing beach attire and chasing an inquisitive toddler round a beach/ harbour/pool side/souk?

10. How do you explain to someone who doesn't speaka much Ingleeesh, that you didn't shop lift , nor did you intend to buy all that stuff that now lies scattered and broken in the aisle, it was just you baby learning to "grasp and release"?

Yep, the photos look gorgeous, but I think we might stay home after all!!!!!

I can highly recommend taking a not- yet -crawling- rampaging- infant on holiday though, it's great. They're tiny enough to lie on your knee (take a baby pillow) on the plane and happy to lie and play on the beach . Buy a factor 50 sun protection tent ( - they won't crawl out) Don't forget to take the push chair , accessorise with  a "shade a babe" baby burka for the push chair, and finally,  take Ella's kitchen food, it packs best. Don't forget nappies, if you have space, in Greece they cost £15 a small pack!! Relax, deep breath, lie by the pool , knowing baby is between your knees and won't scurry off........... And make the most of it!!

Before I blogged , I painted, I still iron, unfortunately.

Today's ironing, see below for a much better option! Same technique, better results!!

Mostly I used to paint huge canvases,(now I have no space where I can be free, imagine all that open paint and a crawling bambino?, I'm thinking Jackson Pollock.) Encaustic wax  takes up less space, you can do it in the kitchen. All you need is card , special wax (melted bits of old dinner party candles or aromatherapy candles that the baby has been trying to eat don't do the trick) and an iron-but be warned- see caution below!! 

Mostly it produces abstract landscapes .

 It escapes me as to why all my wax ones  have a look of cornfields in golden sunshine. I always imagine that I paint what I hear in music, what I feel  or what is stirring in my soul at the time. Perhaps I was homesick for the farm land near where I grew up, where we used to walk the dog?

Abstract interpretation of Attersee lake,and surrounding mountains, Austria. (paint on canvas)
Another encaustic wheat field

Northern Lights (Aurora Borealis) in encaustic wax.

Now this is what I call "ironing" encaustic wax painting is excellent fun. A small smear of coloured or pearlised wax is melted onto an old-fashioned flat iron and then splurged all over the card. If you have a bit of talent, you decide which colours and where, and how much splurging and smearing, and overlaying and intermingling. Clearly the hot wax colours melt and blend on the iron, and you have to be PDQ. 

It is not something I advise you to do at home with a baby in the house. The iron is hot, it has a cord. Babies love touching things they are forbidden to touch, and love pulling cords. Recipe for disaster. Life is too short to spend in casualty!!!!

Also being a mum you have half the time you used to have, despite getting up before dawn, and every job takes twice as long as it used to. My husband has 10 shirts a week to be ironed. I can't justify ironing wax onto bits of card instead!!!