Creepy Christmas at Camps

Now then, everyone in Camps knows I LOVE LOVE LOVE the shop, it is my Mecca, my spiritual home..... A haven of style and Chic, Newbury's answer to Harvey Nicks, Daaahling.

This posting is distasteful- but so is Camps Santa, look away now if you don't want to spoil the magic of Christmas......

and I believe in equality in the work place (and fairies)

BUT WHAT IS THIS ??? Spotted lurking in their window display. And is that a whip it is wielding? Or a fishing rod??

It has to be female? or eunuch? (looking at its face) Certainly under age? (It must have lied on its application form?) Though I'm not sure either what lurks in its velveteen trousers??? (S)he certainly is excited about Xmas!!! (Perhaps it is an hermaphrodite?) Maybe its jolly belly that wobbled like a plate full of jelly just slipped?

Is it a Barbara Windsor doll???

Please, I'm not racist, ageist, sexist or homophobic, beautyist, heightist or anti-xmas, but whoever hired the creepy santa should be fired. Though I don't think they can fire this er, whatever it is, (S)he probably could sue them under the equal opportunity act.

Though I'm sure santa's job description should, read "Male, Old, Fat, Jolly, Bearded, Bespecktacled, List 99 checked." Perhaps in today's world, his new millennium contract merely said

"Wanted, someone to work 9 weeks of the year, any age, height, weight, sex , no qualifications required. Red uniform and fake beard provided, must like children (and kinky black boots), Mince pie eater preferred but not necessary. Owing to health and safety regs, no longer required to : squeeze down chimney, work with reindeer or other animals (Foot & mouth hazard) or sit in grotto."

Or is it the Christmas fairy in the wrong costume?

Come on Camps, I am intrigued..... (As well as more than a bit creeped out). UUUGhhhh..... What the hell is it? Where did you get it? and why didn't you send it back? Or did it land in the VueFO?